Just about the worst idea ever

My wife recently sent me an article about some new bartender technology. And I feel that its just about the worst idea ever.

The concept is simple: having a friendly, happy bartender is apparently bad for business, so this company intends to do something about it.

Their idea? Put measuring devices on every liquor bottle, every Coke bottle, and the ice dispenser. Then let these devices communicate directly with the cach register using wireless RFID technology. They will tattle on the bartender in case he pours too much of something.

The goal? If the bartender pours a little more than a shot, the customer is charged for a little more than a shot. You can also catch those evil bartenders who pour stronger drinks to your regular customers... because everybody knows regular customers should be soaked for every dime in their pockets.

Frankly, if they are going to be like that, why have a bartender at all? Why not just have a cluster of programmable cocktail dispensers behind the bar? Cheap and easy, no need to feed, clothe, or tip them!

Think about it... this kind of stuff only leads to one place: martini vending machines. And its a sad day for America's future when that comes to pass.

Sure, its possible to make a bit more money if you measure accurately and charge for everything... but that business model only makes sense when you are selling commodities. When there's a lot of value-add in the product, its harder to measure those pesky intangibles that make the sale actually happen.

Case in point, the profit margins on alchoholic beverages are huge. Restaurants charge $30 for a bottle of wine that costs $8 at the store. A Hendricks gin fizz costs about $6 for $1 of alchohol. Even if the bartender pours you twice the gin, the profit margins are still huge. Besides, a friendly bartender has tremendous value to the establishment.

Its not like bartenders overpour for everybody... just the regular customers. These are the people who keep coming back, ordering the most profitable thing on the menu. Why throw a monkey wrench into that?

Sorry guys... I guess its back to the drawing board for you.